DID YOU MAKE A NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION? SAME. HOW’S THAT GOING FOR YOU? SHAME.

It's tricky, isn't it? On one hand you want to, you know, shed the rancid, unproductive layers of yourself and blossom into something better, and for some reason, January is the universal kick-off point for that. But on the other hand: read the room. Have we learnt nothing? Fool me twice, I think not. Right now our best bet is to just lie very still and try not to jinx anything. That’s not to say you can’t shake things up. Onwards and upwards, always. The trick is to simply take your grandiose New-Me visions and drastically lower the bar. Swap them for things that are attainable, specific, and less likely to be thwarted by … I don’t know, everything. For examps:

DID YOU ASPIRE TO:

Learn a new language?

WHAT IF YOU JUST:

Started pronouncing microwave like Nigella does. Immediately and without explanation.

FORGET ABOUT:

Decluttering the flat

WHAT ABOUT:

Hoarding? If that gets out of hand you could always just move.

IF YOU PLANNED ON:

Cultivating your green-thumb

WHAT ABOUT:

Stealing your neighbour's plants. Looking at pictures of them on the internet. This pillow with actual flowers in it.

REPLACE:

Learning to meditate

WITH:

Leaning! In! To! The! Drama!
This year’s all about collapsing theatrically at the slightest inconvenience.

AND RATHER THAN:

Trying to get in shape

HAVE YOU CONSIDERED:

Lower lighting? A croissant lamp? Candlelight becomes everyone - AND : Since IKEA and - lowkey - BYREDO - released a collab line (I live for collab lines) of scented candles in fancy ceramic cups that are what, the price of a single-origin coffee?! - you can buy two, three, four - (hundred?) and just light them with the reckless abandon of a wealthy person - for hours - days! - at a time. Make all Zoom appearances in the cast of their flattering glow. The tobacco one is **chefs kiss**

REPLACE:

Being generous

WITH:

Seeming generous. Everyone gets a candle for their birthday. Scribble over the IKEA bit with a Sharpie or something. Use the savings to buy yourself, I don’t know: a set of fruity scalloped napkins?

GIVE UP ON
That book you said you’d write

AND JUST:

Read books by actual authors. Ones that make you howl, weep and snort uncontrollably with laughter: Do You Mind if I Cancel or, Wow, No Thank You or Trivial Pursuits or or Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant Brilliant. (Earnest side-note: if you’re feeling genuinely positive about the year to come, or still (understandably) reeling from the one that was, How to Be a Person In The World is both achingly funny and gorgeously reassuring and I’m not sure I’d have survived Tw*nty Tw*nty without it. Highly recommend)

JUST BECAUSE YOU CAN’T

Take a vacation

DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T

Dress like you’re on one. This shirt makes me feel very ritzy-French-woman-on-holiday. These poolside brollys are so chic I might faint. This makes me excited to steal hotel trinkets. And these slippers give your toes a whiff of the good life, too.

AND IF YOU’RE STILL SET ON

Broadening your culinary horizons

LOOK NO FURTHER THAN

THIS.

SUNDAY UNIFORM SUGGESTIONS

LEISURE LETTER Nº2