SLEEP CYCLES AND PSYCHOBABBLE

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THE QUIZ…

What is your relationship to bedding?

A. A bedding snob through and through. Egyptian cotton, or nothing.

B. Self-confessed duvet thief.

C. As long as I am warm, I’m happy!

What does your bed look like before getting into it?

A. Much like a majestic pillow fort.

B. Unmade after a panicked morning of over-snoozing.

C. Minimal. The less time I can spend making my bed, the better.

What’s your favourite sleepwear?

A. A matching set of pyjamas.

B. Whatever I fell asleep in!

C. Nothing at all…

What do you need to fall asleep?

A. Camomile tea, pitch darkness, and absolute silence.

B. A comfy bed and someone to spoon me.

C. Literally nothing. I can fall asleep any time, any place.

What do your dreams usually feature?

A. Tomorrow’s breakfast.

B. Sex…

C. I don’t usually remember!

What kind of snorer are you?

A. I’ve never snored in my life…

B. Sometimes I wake myself up.

C. I might let out a grunt from time to time.


How many times do you snooze your alarm?

A. Not even once… Why waste the day?

B. I lose count, to be honest.

C. At least twice… I’m not a great morning person, but I’m not that bad either.


Are you a restless sleeper?

A.  Not at all! I usually wake up how I fell asleep.

B. Absolutely… It’s a battle between myself, the duvet, and the person next to me.

C. I’ve been known to sleep talk my way through the night.

THE RESULTS…

Mostly A’s

The Slumber Snob:

You clearly have the highest sleep standards of them all. There is no hope of a minute of sleep unless you have all your nighttime essentials at the ready. On occasion, this can make for a difficult time reaching much sought after slumber, but when the stars align, and you are nestled between your three hundred thread count sheets, in your matching pyjamas, and with your favourite lavender oil spritzed on the pillow, you awaken the best rested of them all. No dark circles or difficult mornings for you

Mostly B’s

The Restless Dreamer:

No wonder you wake up tired! With all your thrashing about, it’s as if you’ve run a marathon by the time your phone sounds its unwelcome alarm. Perhaps it might be worth drinking a soothing camomile tea before hitting the hay… Although these wild dreams of yours sound like they would make for excellent pillow talk tales.

Mostly C’s

The Bedroom Minimalist

When it comes to bedtime, the less fuss, the better. Two pillows and a warm duvet will do you just fine. No need for any pre-sleep potions to knock you into a deep and dreamless sleep, as your sleep is already dreamless as it is! Aside from the occasional murmur or grunt, you usually feel fresh enough to start the day without a battle with your alarm clock, but still sleepy enough to nod off once or twice before really getting up and at ‘em.


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