MARY AND JULIAN NAVEY

There are two types of families when it comes to lockdown. Those who are forced apart for longer than they ever would have wished for. And those who are flung together for months on end, with varying degrees of success. The Navey’s are one of the success stories and one whose time in lockdown brought newfound meditative rituals, childhood reminiscence, and the touching realisation of just how wonderful your adult children can become (especially when they make you freshly baked bagels each morning).

Here, we speak to Mary and Julian about many many things, but the parts we love the most are about spending isolation with their youngest daughter Kezia (also D&D’s wonderful video editor); the joys of owning a beach hut; keeping active and creative in ways that work for you; and what they were most looking forward to when lockdown lifted (hint: if you didn’t feel like going camping before reading this, then you certainly will after).

Hi Julian, Hi Mary - tell us a bit about yourselves. How did you meet? Where did your life together begin?

We are ‘the Naveys’! Just ordinary folk from the south coast. Too close to 60 to admit exact ages. Married for 34 and a half years. We’ve been hitched together since our late teens, meeting over the ping pong table, for night hikes, youth-hostelling and games in the local Youth Group (the hip place to be). We’ve lived in Central and East London working as an Accountant and Paediatric Nurse, and now we’re here in Bournemouth.

You spent your isolation at home with your daughter Kezia (D&D’s wonderful video editor). What did you love most about spending time together as a family?

What a privilege to have spent lockdown with our 25 year old! Kezia had moved back to Bournemouth from London temporarily so that she could spend time with a close friend who was unwell, also living in Bournemouth. Kezia had previously left home (seven years before) so we weren’t sure how it would go, but we loved it!

To see in close quarters what a gem of a woman one’s daughter has become is quite a special treat, and for us it was an unexpected time that we won’t forget. I, Mary, was taken back to my youth, like I had a new flatmate again! I enjoyed her easy company enormously. Along with some deep adult discussions and debates. We both learned a few things from her. It’s very quiet now that she has returned to London.

Did you develop any special rituals together?

Our start times to the day are very different! We would get up at the crack of dawn. Kezia somewhat later. Our bedtime became around 10 pm. Kezia’s - somewhat later!

One ritual became the new norm. Instead of going shopping we would live on Kezia’s daily-made sourdough bagels. Perfected with the addition of seeds and a little Dorset honey glaze. Yum. Family cycle rides to find bluebell woods and hear cuckoos’ first calls also became an addictive joy.

You live by the sea in Bournemouth and are the proud owners of a beach hut. What has it been like being so close to the ocean over the last few months? And what are your beach hut essentials?

Bournemouth has topped the news during lockdown, being reported on almost daily for its invasions of tourists. We have seven miles of golden sand and a bay full of blue water, usually unspoilt, and well looked after. Sadly, over lockdown and beyond, the news from our town has been filled with litter, fighting, mass gatherings and dangerous behaviour. People have flocked down this way since being ‘allowed’ to travel!

So, being close to the ocean hasn’t been the most relaxing these last few months! However, the wonderful asset of a beach hut (apart from whilst it was ‘out of bounds’) has made a real difference. We venture down there before 8am, or after 8pm, when the beach is deserted and peaceful. The hut is a real sanctuary of shelter, named in 2006 “The Healing Hut”. Many life events and mixed emotions have been experienced there by many people over the years! A couple of hours there to restore with a walk/run/pray, and a sea swim thrown in, before anyone else has emerged from the duvet, and life seems more bearable.

Likewise a full moon is an essential fix - only last night we watched the pinky orange Sturgeon Moon rise from the dusky horizon of the eastward sea, with Saturn and Jupiter (and it’s own moons) brightly standing guard in advance to receive it to further illuminate the vast night sky. We have four or five cruise ships resting in the bay at present, while they are out of cruising action. They are a dramatic sight lit up at night along with the expanse of the incredible solar system.

Our beach hut essentials:

Sarong, kettle, gas, frying pan, bible, lemon cake for the robin (only Mr. Kipling’s will do),  bikini/swimmers, binoculars, recliner D&D PJs (of course).

What were you especially gratefully for whilst we were all in lockdown?

Our childhoods. Lockdown (and clearing the loft of junk) triggered deeply memorable past times with parents, siblings, relatives, carefree school antics, friends, times in nature, unhurried Sundays, and the slower pace of life we once lived. We also felt especially grateful for the practice of prayer, which grounded us. As well as for spring, Easter, summer and the unusual cheeriness and hopefulness of the seasons in nature, in a devastatingly difficult 2020.

What have you been doing to keep creative and active? Have you, like many others, taken up new hobbies or learnt new skills?

Kezia kindly bought me some oil paints! During lockdown she would dabble in a little sculpture, and I (Mary) with the oils. I have even taken up the practice of ‘expressive oil-painting-prayer’ (I made it up) which has immersed me in painting a prayer-need for days at a time. I’m quite pleased with the results. I’ve also been learning with others (on video call) the art of free-writing. I’m quite pleased with some poems I have written as a result.

I, Julian, have been newly- and self-appointed chief operator of ‘black zone’, and have continued working throughout the pandemic as an essential worker, so haven’t had much time for extra hobbies. I have, however, converted to outdoor exercise from attending only indoor gyms previously, six times per week. I now enjoy an early-morning sea swim, cycle, run or fartlek. I’m not missing the communal sweat and bleachy chlorine chemicals at all. Even when it rains.

Lockdown is gradually lifting now. What was the thing you were most excited to do once things started opening up again?

Camping, definitely. To awaken with the dawn chorus and blades of English verdant grass near to one’s waking nose and mouth. To boil some water on gas for that first coffee. To see the even darker night sky than one thought possible from previous camping trips. To hear the owls screech in the trees across the valley. To smell impending summer rain. To relax into forest bathing (which we oldies were practising long before it had a modern name) and a good wild hike. To be surrounded by mallow, thistledown, thrift and heather, bouncy grass, baby birds, ripening fields of wheat, being in the fresh air of the countryside with even fresher and greener plant life than normal this year.

We’re also looking forward to watching football! Sadly, with the return of football, we have seen AFC Bournemouth slip into relegation and our wonderful manager Eddie Howe slip into resignation.

And finally, cosy cuddle-times in our PJs, now we have the house to ourselves again most evenings.

Your camping trips sound truly fantastic. Could you give us some tips for a successful wild camping trip? And maybe even some good spots to pitch up?

Dartmoor is a favourite, but don’t tell anyone else!

Current wild camping tips in no particular order:

Travel light but safe. Best bit of kit = sarongs (plural and multi-use). Second best bit of kit = sudocrem. Be prepared to work hard and carry the kit to the remotest of high spots. Leave only your footprints. Go barefoot while you move about the tent, for the bonus wild sensation of touch (think dry, bouncy heather) but protect your feet while out walking. Find a waterfall (or rapids) to bathe in, sitting on a carpet of lush moss. Garden of Eden-esque. Try ‘space food’, it’s surprisingly good. Carry a lot of water. Tell yourself you can sleep on a hard base, anywhere, and you will. Mind over mattress. Remember, the many pros outweigh any cons. Pack a lightweight shovel. Pre-cook hard-boiled eggs (the extra-yellow yolk variety) and enjoy these simply dipped in salt. 

Can you recommend a film, book, album and recipe that you’ve been loving?

For film and TV we’ve been loving Lady Gaga in ‘A Star is Born’. Such a poignant film, and a very gifted talented woman.

We have always loved Blyton but really really loved the TV adaptation of Malory Towers during early lockdown. (I, Mary, yearn to be Darrell Rivers again on the lacrosse field and in the quarry pool). Mother and daughter binge-watched the thirteen episodes sprawled out on the sofa in our PJs, whilst grieving, some days simultaneously stuffing Dorset Cream Teas. “Cream buns all round!” (Quote, Enid).

I have also surprisingly enjoyed exposure to High School Musical, having never watched any of them back when! Especially the crème brûlée song. Reminiscent of ‘Fame’ days.

We’ve been reading lots, but streaks ahead has to be the Bible - 66 books, all meaty and inspiring, full of the perfect man, Jesus. It never lets us down. Daily essential spiritual ‘food’ which keeps us alive with abundant life, lockdown or otherwise!

We’re currently liking soaking up the new Taylor Swift album, some timeless George Michael and tuneful Eva Cassidy.

For a recipe, Kezia has returned to London with her secret bread recipe! For us, lockdown memories will always be filled with Kezia’s sourdough aromas and ‘artisan’ supper dishes created for us in honour of her friend Ceri - we ourselves had never even previously heard of Katsu chicken curry or Ramen (being Bournemouth Bumpkins). As a team, we did take Sunday Roast to a new level each week, getting the joints to a new perfection of tenderness, after many years of roasting those traditional meats. Red wine helps the onion gravy.

What have you learnt about each other during this time? And what have you learnt about yourselves?

We have learned how well we already know each other’s likes and dislikes so acutely. And how we are the same people we each were in childhood (this gleaned from reading our kept buried ‘news books’ from primary school days). Also the value of community and gratitude.

We have learned that we are a great team and can adapt to life’s circumstances. We’re so thankful that we have remained healthy, being able to exercise and meditate in a way that has kept us going. We’ve also learned that each hour is precious and that we are not actually in control of our own little kingdoms. It can all come crashing down.

Through Kezia, we have learned about sacrificial love for a dying close friend. Something not everyone would be prepared to make time and sensitive deep effort for in their lifetime. This filled us with joy to see.